current location: Bliss!
current mood: ecstatic
current song: thousand stringed instruments all in a beautiful harmony
All I can say is "BECKY'S BACK!!!!!"
All I can say is "BECKY'S BACK!!!!!"
On Friday, 7/7/06, I attended the wedding of my Godparents daughter; I reckon my Godsister. After a very emotional greeting by my Godmother and my Godfather’s greeting, which seemed to calm down my Godmother a bit, my Mom and I went into the sanctuary of the United Methodist Church where the wedding took place. As with anything my Mom attends, we were there early. My Godfather, who met my Mom and Dad while stationed in Mississippi and Arkansas (where I was born), said to my Mom, “I see you still follow the military motto: hurry up to wait.”
As I waited for the ceremony to begin, I was reading the beginning pages of the Hymnal. I have learned that by reading these first few pages you can learn a lot about the beliefs and emphases of a given church. The first page of note was to the effect of “The Rules for Hymn Singing.” There listed was a thorough set of directions that were to be adhered to, numbering 5 rules as follows:
1. Sing all. See that you join with the congregation as frequently as you can. Let not a slight degree of weakness or weariness hinder you. If it is a cross to you, take it up and you will find a blessing.
2. Sing lustily, and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength. Be no more afraid of your voice now, nor more ashamed of it being heard, then when you sing the songs of Satan.
3. Sing modestly. Do not bawl, as to be heard above, or distinct from, the rest of the congregation, that you may not destroy the harmony; but strive to unite your voices together, so as to make one clear melodious sound.
4. Sing in time. Whatever time is sung, be sure to keep with it. Do not run before, not stay behind it; but attend closely to the leading voices, and move therewith as exactly as you can. And take care you sing not too slow. This drawling way naturally steals on all who are lazy; and it is high time to drive it out from among us, and sing all our tunes just as quick as we did at first.
5. Above all, sing spiritually. Have an eye to God in every word you sing. Aim at pleasing Him more than yourself, or any other creature. In order to do this, attend strictly to the sense of what you sing, and see that your heart is not carried away with the sound, but offered to God continually; so shall your singing be such as the Lord will approve of here, and reward when he cometh in the clouds of heaven. (http://users.mstar2.net/brucewrites/rule
Looking further in the Hymnal, I noticed that the confessional was different. It was so action oriented! Everything was “what I have not done,” “what I will do better”, none of which had to do with God’s gifts to us, His children.
It reminded me of how legalistic some Christians have become/have always been. The influence and mindset has been around since before Christ, ever prevalent in the Pharisees. I can rest easy knowing that it is only by the grace, mercy, and love that God alone offers through his Son, Jesus Christ, that my sins are no more. (This was echoed and substantiated today in church; 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 (http://www.carm.org/kjv/2Cor/2cor_5.htm , 7/9/2006).)
I suppose there are, have been, and always will be people that will sing/live as Christians in this way. For so ever long as that may be, there will be those of like mind to John Wesley to venture to the other extreme. The extreme of man and the extreme of God converged in the Messiah. It is in this gift that we must all remain and call upon to calm our storms in life; Job 38:1-11 (http://www.carm.org/kjv/Job/Job_38.htm , 7/9/2006), Mark 4:35-41 (http://www.carm.org/kjv/Mark/mark_4.htm , 7/9/2006).
The ceremony was nice, very similar to other weddings I’ve attended, Lutheran and others alike. The reception was dominated by older people, which created a more subdued atmosphere. We sat with three retired couples who all attended the church of the groom, resulting in little conversation and awkward silence. The silence gave me time to draw into my own thoughts of my future: What will my wedding be like?
Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.
For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I have not sleep so well this weekend. My bottom has gotten to know the futon a little too well due to the desire to be "comfortable" and obtain sleep. Sunday night, a long and restless night. Last night (referring to the night between Monday and Tuesday), I managed to pass-out some time after 4am and 11am when I awoke. Here I am again, Tuesday night, wide-awake with my mind racing in idle. I want to work. I think that tomorrow, after working I hope to be refreshed, accomplished, and eager to get back to a sense of normalcy.
I have transformed myself into a hermit; remaining in my room for the greater duration of the weekend. I haven't eaten a lot of food, primarily because I haven't put my paycheck in the bank to get the money to shop. I haven't changed out of my PJ's in order to uphold any dignity that would arise from going into public in this hideous state of existence. BLA-A-A-A-A-AH!!!! Between my vegetation on the futon, I am warm, thirsty, hungry, lethargic, thinking of Greek, Bible study, laundry, Financial Aid, dishes, unpacking, vacuuming, my mess, my roommate's mess, my suite-mate's mess, shopping for groceries, building a shelving unit, and how I am not allowing myself to actually get up and do any of it. I'd like to! But I've managed to trap myself in my head; limiting everything to a mere thought.
I'm so TIRED!!!!! Why can't I sleep!?!?!?!?! I just want to turn off the lights, climb under the cozy covers, say my prayers, close my eyes, and drift off to sleep. Instead, the darkness intensifies the rapid succession of mental firing, the covers constrict the air, and I continually turn to find comfort. Work will come at 7am whether I have slept or not.
Far too often I do write in/upon thee. So many thoughts running through my head that I find neither the time or focus to compose my thoughts into logical and coherent statements. William of Ockham explained it best:
“Plurality is not to be postulated without necessity,” or “ Whatever can be done with the fewer assumptions is done in vain with more.” –William from Ockham, England
Using his own explanation, simply said, “Less is more,” or “The simplest way is the best way.” My thoughts are neither of these. Perhaps a reverse chronological approach. And so that it doesn't seem like I have one huge entry, I've seperated them into a few smaller ones. He-e-e-e-ere I go!
I actually attended two churches: St. Paul and my own church, Faith Lutheran. It was pretty awesome!! Those two churches are truly blessed to have the Pastoral leadership and knowledge available to them. It is my hope that one day, I too, may be as effective as they are in the pulpit. At Faith, there was a guest/substitute pastor who regularly fills in for my 80-year-old pastor. Regularly in the sense that when Pastor Reichert is gone, this other guy fills in. He, too, is a very well educated and tried pastor who is able to allow God’s word to be spoken. These pastors seem to have all the right words lined up and ready for dispensation like a machine gun in potency and like a Pez dispenser in the sweetness that the message of God has been to me and all others who are there! I am ever so refreshed and invigorated to serve, however God call me to serve in any capacity that He requires.
Convention is coming! Convention is here!!!!!-
This is pretty exciting! We will be celebrating 125 years as the Michigan District, LCMS! That is a phenomenal point to reflect on what God has done through us, is doing through us, and will have us do in the future; not only as a district, but also as the Church Body itself, of which we are all members of. The campus is looking good if I don’t say so myself (feeling the exhaustion of weeks of hard laborious blood, sweat, and tears invested into this center of higher learning; for which I hope to better prepare myself for God’s ministry). I am excited to hear what will be said, see what transpires, and learn from this event that is like fresh dew to me! The anticipation from the hype has my curiosity peering around like a prairie dog to see what unfolds.
What do I say? There is a feeling of complete satisfaction at the end of the day when you step back to survey all that has been accomplished by soil laden hands, shirts drenched in perspiration, shoes that contain debris scattered about from the day’s labor, muscles that ache with satisfaction, and a depletion of energy that leaves one’s will and drive to continue to propel oneself from task to task the only means to carry on to shower, obtain sustenance, nourishment, and all that is yet to be done through the afternoon and evening. I rejoice in the opportunity to do this day in and day out. Not only is the physical image of Concordia University Ann Arbor uplifted, so is my character and knowledge of my abilities; to which I build all of these greater and greater still.
There have been a few bad things that have gone, however. Being just before Convention and everyone working so hard to get the campus up to a premier image, a small interaction escalates toward an undetermined climax: http://www.mlive.com/search/index.ssf?/b
A few facts to consider upon making up your mind on this matter. The mower is faster than the Gator. The mower can make 180-degree turns on the very space it occupies [no forward or backward movement, it will pivot in the center of the rear axel]; therefore, having the ability to out maneuver the Gator. The 26 year old was placed in a position of supervision over this, and other workers, in the absence of Jerry Novak. The day prior, the man on the mower left early, but did not reflect this on his timecard. The only way to receive cuts from such a collision would be from being ejected out of the seat; this only possible if the mower was moving at a speed far greater than the Gator can possibly go. The Gator was struck broadside on the passenger side of the vehicle. This can only happen if the mower is headed toward the Gator. Had the Gator been going toward the mower, the large wheels would have run up and over the mowing deck and be on top of the mower, not stopping the mower so fast as to cause any cuts.I conclude with my opinion. The man on the mower is lazy, short-tempered, sensitive about what others say, can dish it but not take it, and when pressed to actually do some work- he snapped and aggressively attacked the 26 year old. In an attempt to cover his ass, while the boss was out and having been scolded by the VP due to his actions that lead up to and resulted in this incident, filed a falsified Police Report [a felonious offence] to back his side of the story; which was never investigated by the Police [due to the petty and immature nature of the occurrence combined with the fish of man making the claim] nor anyone from the Ann Arbor News [because it fills blank space and requires no effort, or hourly pay, to place a mountain of a mole hill fabrication that smears the reputation of a Christian organization such as Concordia].
Whether you know, suspect, or haven’t yet heard: I am in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with Becky Wartick! It took me off guard, as I had given up on trying to be in a relationship- this seemed to just appear out of nowhere! I kid you not! With school, studying, work, and all the other day-to-day events that consumed me, I deemed it unworthy to pursue anything that would result in a relationship. I had nothing to give! My time was gone. My mind was in another place. I was content in trying to maintain the friendships that I had- some which wanted more of me than I could give. Then one day, as a friendship was getting stronger, I found myself in what appeared to be a more-than-friend ambiance. I was confused and conflicted. But then, in a simultaneous set of initiatives I found my lips pressing upon her lips which where pressing upon mine. The confusion and perplexities were gone. Inner warmth ensued. Each heartbeat was more intense; not beating faster but fluttering, not harder but more dense.
About a week later, perhaps childish, I wanted to make no assumptions but ensure definition of what was/was not happening; I asked her, “Would you be my girlfriend?” With a joyful “Yes” and a full smile on her face, it was so. I am glad and incredibly thankful for this relationship. This relationship is very different, in a good way, than any relationship I have ever been in. There is a trust that is whole and … well, good! I do not wonder about her going off to someone else. I do not wonder if she has ulterior motives. I don’t feel bothered/offended by her opinions; nor do mine to her. I am content. I am placing this relationship in God’s hands. I ask of him repeatedly, “If this not to be, Lord, please take it from me! If it is to be, Lord, take it as your own- look after it; care for it; give it the hope, joy, faith, and love that only you can give; send the trials needed to sustain it and prove it’s strength and ability to work in the two of us; protect it from any harm, danger, and evil; may this relationship have your blessing and continue to glorify You who give all that is good. But if it is not from you, O God, please take it away now, before it brings hurt and anger to either of us your children. I ask all of these things in the name of your Holy Son, Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, ever one God without end. Amen!”
Up till now my relationships have been wrought with fear and a sense of discomfort. This one is not like that. There is a part of me that fears that there is no fear! Though, I know, that does not make any sense. I rejoice in that last knowledge. Out of the blue it came and where it will go, I do not know. I am so in love with her!!! So much so that I hesitate in saying it. As if I were to say it that it will disappear forever. But when I do say it, I can’t help but feel her smile inside of her leap! There is an overwhelming sense of calm and awe. Not like the calm and awe in a church, but so very close. I want to protect it. But how can I? It is not up to me to do that. This will have to be left up to God. It’s strange. Before, if I were to say “No” or “I’m going to do this [without you],” I would feel guilty and though I were a defector- betraying an unspoken code and leaving her [the hers of the past] abandoned and deserted. There is a positive affirmation that exists, an understanding/accord, which allows me to go in confidence without any ill recourse to occur in the present or the future.
Live for today and plan for tomorrow! It’s a great motto. Tomorrow may never come. It is important to live each day to the fullest, knowing that at any moment it may end [through demise or by God’s Judgment]; and to be able to end each day in such a way that everything is done in complete fullness to the best of my abilities. I want to plan for the days that may come so that when that day does come, I am, again, free to carry it out to the fullest measure of my potential. All that in mind, how will Becky fit? Could she be ‘the One?’ If so, the possibilities are endless. If not, “What’s your plan for me, God?” Could she be ‘the One?’ Could she? If she is, Lord, don’t let me botch it up! Everything is so different! If she is, then time is on my side, right? It matters not whether we date for 1 month or 6 years… so I’ll just take it slow. I’ll enjoy each ‘stage’ of the relationship and savor the sensations like that of a fine wine! Pour slowly to allow the wine to mix with the air, enhancing the bouquet. Swirl softly in the glass and watch how it coats the glass. Breathe prolongingly and gently through the nose to run the sample past the olfactory gauntlet to ensure the aroma is well within lines for further pursuit. A small taste to cover the palate held in place to experience the foretaste, middle-taste, and mix in a little air and upon swallowing the fruity pleasure the aftertaste. Sip repeatedly as fit. To prolong the moments will not only act as a test for quality control, it shall also me the opportunity to see my potential, and therefore, my bride to be [God willing] in the fullness that she possesses. (None of the above was specifically, intentionally, or alluding to any sexual overtones that may be extracted for those peering into, or whose foot may be in, the gutter!) Simply, I am going to take things slowly as to ensure that what I have is, or may not be, what I hope it is. At the same time, I don’t want to be so humdrum as to become wearisome and mundane as for me to botch things up :-) !!! No time limits will be imposed or referred to check or balance any duration of time. But if it is God’s will, I would like to have many more tomorrows with my Becky!
This was interesting, to say the least. I can not agree with all of the TULIP points; nor can I agree with universal atonement- all sins are atoned for at the cross, however not all will be at one with Christ for many will resist the grace that is given to the universal world of people. The last line is also a hair off. The word of God must be heard before they die; and God willing, they will not reject the gift that is being offered. In the end, there is no way that 489% is a legitimate score!
| You scored as Reformed Evangelical. You are a Reformed Evangelical. You take the Bible very seriously because it is God's Word. You most likely hold to TULIP and are sceptical about the possibilities of universal atonement or resistible grace. The most important thing the Church can do is make sure people hear how they can go to heaven when they die.|
What's your theological worldview?
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Time is a great thing. It's like money. I'd even say that time is the largest comodity that has ever existed, exists, or ever will exist in, well, all of time!!!! Think about it. Do you want time? Would you like to have more? You use a car so that you can get where you want to be quicker... thus having more time to do what you want to do. And being like money, I have neither the time or the money to do what I want, when I want, how I want to do it. There are people to see, things to do (Unless you're Mr. Cartright from High School, then it's people to do and things to see), and places to be! I want more time, and money! So much so, that well, I have to go to Luke because people had time to get beer, drink beer, party on campus at a bonfire, and see people and do things that they wanted to do. (However rediculous that CUAA holds those things to be. Note: I was not one of the partakers of beverages at the bonfire; I was MOVING!!!! Grrrrr!!) Well, it is time now to go do people and see things.... or something like that :-)
|Your brain: 80% interpersonal, 180% visual, 80% verbal, and 60% mathematical!|
|Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers. |
Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:
|My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:|
|Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test|
I have this great ability to shut myself down. I do, however, not know how to 'restart' myself. The later is much worse than the former. It sucks. I don't like it. In either case: social flat-line.
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